worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
