Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize