i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
