fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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