I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
