Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
