so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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