Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
