Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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