I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We're too hungover to prance.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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