I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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