he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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