Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
