Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
