fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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