Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
