I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
