dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
