if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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