I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
