that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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