Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
