i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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