Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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