the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize