some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
