Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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