That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
