like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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