we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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