I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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