sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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