'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
