i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
