Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize