im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
