and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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