just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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