I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
