I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
