Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
