im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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