It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
