??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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