Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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