just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
