So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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