I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize