do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
