We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
