awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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