I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
