what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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