we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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