worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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