the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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