the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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