her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's rum buckets o'clock
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
