Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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