We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
