do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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